For obvious reasons, Father’s Day and the days leading up to it can be really hard for grieving teens. For other teens, the day can feel sweet and nostalgic. Instead of assuming we know how they feel, it’s best to ask and listen. That’s what we did with teens from our Youth Advisory Board, and below are their thoughts, feelings, and insights on how the holiday feels for them this year.
Sarafina, age 16
My dad died when I was five years old due to suicide, and I think recently I started to enjoy when holidays related to my dad come up such as Father’s Day, his birthday, and his death day because although it brings up feelings of sadness that I haven’t felt in a while, I enjoy the family and new traditions that we do. On all of those days, my family eats dinner or lunch at Crab Cooker (his favorite restaurant) and releases orange (his favorite color) balloons with little notes on them into the sky.
I’ve started looking forward to these traditions because I love honoring him and it makes me feel closer to him. I hope to continue this transition for as long as possible because it brings me and my family much joy, and I hope it also brings him joy to know we are always thinking of him.
Jaymul, age 17
My father passed away in 2014 when I was six years old, and this year, Father’s Day feels a little different. It’s always been a difficult day, but this year I’ve become more aware of how much he shaped me and how much I wish he could see the person I’m becoming. There’s a mix of emotions—sadness, definitely, but also gratitude and pride. Some years, I tried to avoid the day altogether, but now I’ve learned it’s okay to feel everything—to miss him and still smile at a memory. On Father’s Day, I plan to spend a little quiet time with a playlist of songs that remind me of him and maybe write a letter I’ll never send. It’s not about forgetting the pain but holding space for it.
To other grieving teens: You don’t have to “get over it” or pretend the day is easy. Make space for your feelings—whatever they are—and create your traditions. You can celebrate, cry, laugh, remember, or even just rest. Grief looks different for all of us, and that’s okay.
Janiyah, age 19
I lost my dad around the time of me being seven years old so Father’s Day is obviously a holiday that makes me grieve. My dad fought his battle with gastric cancer for as long as he could and unfortunately passed two days after Father’s Day. With me losing him at a very young age, I have little to no memory of him to the point where I can’t even picture what he looks like without photographs.
The grief that I go through when that time approaches has become challenging for me because at a young age I didn’t comprehend the loss of my father but now as I get older, I sit in the realization of there being no memories I can look back on. What I do that helps is try to find a butterfly museum to go to because I have always been told that a monarch butterfly represents my dad.
Amber, age 16
My dad passed away from a heart attack when I was 10 years old, and Father’s Day is always a tough day for me. I feel angry that he’s not here and that I don’t get to grow up with him, and I feel sad because I miss him so much. This year, those feelings are still there, but I’ve noticed they come with more reflection. As I get older, I think more about the kind of person he was and the ways I carry him with me.
Each year, my family and I go to his favorite restaurant and order his favorite food or drink. We share stories, memories, and funny things he used to say. It helps us feel close to him and each other. For other grieving teens, I’d say there’s no right way to handle days like this. Feel what you feel, lean on your friends and family, and do whatever brings you comfort or connection.
Lola, age 14
My dad died when I was six years old from heart complications. For me it’s always been a normal day for things like Father’s Day or my dad’s birthday and other things like that since I never remember celebrating those days with him. But for me this year has felt different as I’m approaching my 8th grade promotion this May. It’s especially a struggle because I’ve accomplished so much these last two years of middle school–from being in various clubs, making good grades, and, most importantly, being in art class which was the main hobby my dad and I shared with each other. For me art is the piece that connected us the mostm and I wish he could watch me growing up and doing the things that are leading me into high school and later adulthood.
Our YAB (Youth Advisory Board) is made up of pre-teens and teens who attended Experience Camps and care deeply about helping the public understand how to better support grieving children. We give our YAB a mission each month, in which they share insights about grief and reflections from their own journey. We also use their insights and ideas to inform our programming, initiatives, and campaigns. Who better to hear from when it comes to childhood grief than young people themselves?
