The teens on our Youth Advisory Board reflected this month on how grief has shaped the way they lead. Below are their thoughtful, honest, and deeply human responses. Hear from other of our teen board members members this month on IG @experiencecamps.
Leila, age 17 (my mom died of cancer): Losing someone important in your life throws your whole life off track. You live for months, maybe years, with no clue on how to cope. Death gives you tunnel vision, and you can only think of that one thing: your person being gone. After feeling out of control for so long, I now put myself in leadership positions, where I can help grieving kids. I strive to be someone who I needed when I was younger. That’s what I appreciated about being an LIT (leader-in-training) at grief camp. One of my responsibilities was to attend to the younger campers. It felt really nice to bond with these young girls and encourage them to share one another’s grief stories. I deeply relate to what they have gone through.
Alexander, age 16 (my dad died in a car accident): When I was younger, I had a short fuse and would lash out. I came home one day and found out my dad had died. I was shocked, and over time most of my anger turned to grief. The experience of loss forced me to mature faster than those around me. Because of that, I strive to take what I learned and be a leader who makes people feel comfortable and understood. I aim to be there to support others if they are going through hard times like I have.
Sydney, age 16 (my parents died of cancer): My experience of navigating the grieving process has not only completely changed my mindset but also changed the way I view my role in society. As someone who has truly experienced something so tragic, the loss of a loved one, I feel I am able to relate to those having a hard time finding their place in life. I understand how hard it is to step up to a position when you know the worst things that could happen, but I also understand what great opportunities come out of trying new things. I aim to be a leader who advocates for those in times of struggle and to become a role model to show that even in the darkest times, you can always find your way to the light.
Ellen, age 13 (my dad died of suicide): After I lost my father when I was nine , it made me realize how important relationships are. Most people lose their parents much later in life. But after losing my dad, I realized the fragility of life. And it is important to say, “Love you, bye” after every conversation I have with a loved one because one day it could be my last. Grief has also changed how I listen to people. Before I would just listen. Now, I also ask questions and am more curious. I understand how important it is not only to include everybody but to engage everyone in the conversation.
Jaymul, age 17 (my dad from a crocodile attack): After losing my father, I learned that people don’t always show when they’re struggling, even when everything seems fine on the surface. Because of that, I try to pay closer attention to how people act, not just what they say. As a leader, I focus on creating spaces where others feel comfortable opening up and know they’re not being judged. Grief taught me that empathy isn’t just understanding someone’s pain—it’s showing up for them in small, meaningful ways.
Zoe, age 15 (my sister died of leukemia): My experience with grief helped me become incredibly independent. Before my sister died, you couldn’t catch me doing something by myself because we would always dive into new experiences together. But after she died, I realized I had to be able to stand up for myself, without the help of someone else. I’ve been able to speak up, and that has taught me how to become a leader, too. My independence has made me into a stronger person who found her own voice.
CJ, age 17 (my dad died from a blood-clotting disease): Grief has taught me that everyone goes through their own unique journeys and experiences. I’ve realized over time that many people have gone through terrible things and lots of them have a variety of responses to circumstances, including anger. Because of my own grief journey, I like to give people empathy rather than judgment. When I’m in a group situation and somebody is struggling, I express empathy which influences others around me to do the same.
Javi, age 16 (my dad died of cancer): I am often able to look at a movie or book and can connect with themes of death and loss, making the story even more meaningful. One of my favorite section on GRIEF SUCKS is the “What we’re lovin’” reviews, where I and other teens write reviews about how popular media that can be beneficial for people struggling with grief. By openly engaging with this theme, I help build trust and empathy, showing others their experience matters and that vulnerability can be a source of strength.
