Even though very close bonds can occur during the week of camp, counselors are not to exchange phone numbers, email addresses, or social media contacts with campers. Direct contact can be a risk to you and the organization and can lead to complicated expectations.
When we are focused on fixing a problem, it is often difficult to recognize the downstream effects of our actions or how others might view them. Your good intentions may not always be in the best interests of the camper, the caregivers, other volunteers, or the organization and have the potential to inadvertently or unintentionally cause harm.
Here’s Why:
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Campers are minors and you are an adult. The motivations of relationships outside of camp, whether in chat groups, on social media, or in person, can be misinterpreted by campers, caregivers, and others and leave you and the organization vulnerable.
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The Rule of 3: At camp, you are not permitted to be alone with a camper for their physical safety and for your reputational safety. When you’re outside of camp, the same risks apply. Having individual contact with campers is not only a liability issue for you and for the organization, but it is also a violation of our policy, which makes that contact “a secret”. It is unsafe and unfair to create that dynamic for your campers and irresponsible to put yourself in that position.
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Some of our campers have a history of abuse or prior victimization. This can leave campers with low self-esteem and over-reliance upon the opinion of others, making them more vulnerable to abuse in the future. Without even realizing it, your relationship may be misinterpreted.
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It is naive to think that no one with bad intentions will ever join our ranks. By breaking the rules and believing that since you are a good person that it’s OK to have an out-of-camp relationship, you are making it difficult for ExCamps to enforce this rule and easier for that person to gain access to campers.
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You may be setting expectations you can’t fulfill. Beginning a relationship outside of camp sets an expectation for campers that you will be available when needed and can create a sense of dependence and subsequent loss when that expectation is not met. Worst case, they reach out in a moment of crisis and you aren’t able or don’t know how to respond.
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Having clear and consistent boundaries with our campers helps build trust and eliminates a popularity contest for who ‘will be friends with the counselors after camp’. Our goal is to create a safe and secure camp environment for all campers, inside and outside of camp.
What if I am already friends/in chat groups/in a relationship with campers outside of camp?
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Talk with them. Let them know that this rule is in place and that it is meant to protect the camper, volunteer, and organization. Let them know that you have agreed to follow the rule (this is modeling good behavior). Then, see the bullet points below.
OK. I get it! What CAN I do when a camper asks for my contact info?
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Set the expectation and make it clear to all of your campers that this is the policy.
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Support each other as counselors in holding this line. We realize it is difficult.
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Let them know that they can be in touch with each other (peer support model) during the year and also the clinical director who can provide support and resources that are appropriate to the need.
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Help them identify other trusted adults in their life. The time after camp is a great opportunity for campers to share their feelings with people they may not have before.
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Give them the national crisis line (800-273-8355) or CrisisText Line (Text HOME to 741741) information.
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Encourage them to attend the reunions, follow ExCamps on social media, and come to camp next summer.
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Let them know that you are there for them even when you’re not in touch and remind them of the Invisible Strings.
If you have any questions, please reach out to info@experiencecamps.org.