Not sure whether you should check in with the grieving child you know on Father’s Day? Let us help you…yes, you should. We can’t promise how they’ll respond, but after talking with thousands of grieving kids over the years, we do know this: loneliness is one of the hardest parts of grief, and checking in matters.
Here are 5 ways to reach out:
- Send a text.
Let the young person know you’re thinking of them. Avoid saying anything that assumes feelings, like “I know it’s a hard day for you,” because we can’t know that. Just let them know they’re on your mind. - Share a specific memory.
One of the hardest parts about grief is that many people stop mentioning the person who died–as if they never existed. Have a sweet or funny story to share about the person who died? Ask the young griever if they’d like to hear it. - Extend an invite.
If you don’t have your own plans for Father’s Day, consider inviting the child to do an activity together that they like. This doesn’t need to include a heavy talk about grief. It might be an opportunity to do something pleasant on a holiday that can feel loaded. - Invite them to a gathering.
If you’re having a get-together–and it feels okay for your family–ask if they want to join you. They may want a quiet day or already have plans of their own. But the invite matters. Let them know there is zero pressure. - Send them GRIEF SUCKS.
For many of the kids we work with, they don’t know peers who are experiencing grief over the death of a family member. GRIEF SUCKS–a free digital platform for teens–helps them tap into a large community of young people navigating grief. Send the link with a note that says, “Saw this and thought of you…”
Remember, you don’t have to act perfectly or say the “right” thing–no matter which option you pick. Everyone grieves differently. If you accidentally say something that doesn’t land well, acknowledge it with honesty and keep showing up. Or be honest that you’re not sure exactly what to say but you are here to listen. And just know that your attempts to connect deeply matter.
Michelle Cove is the Communications Manager for Experience Camps, a national award-winning nonprofit that transforms the lives of grieving children. She is a national bestselling author, award-winning documentary filmmaker, and journalist, whose projects have been featured on numerous national platforms including “The Today Show,” The Washington Post, and ABC’s “The View” and The New York Times. Visit www.michellecove.com to learn more.
